My Three Steps of Loving YOUrself
We live in a world where perfection is constantly thrown in your face. It's hard watching television or going online because you see these perfectly shaped, chiseled humans, glaring back at you creating this unreal expectation that you too have to look like them. This idea of perfection can be hard especially for young women who grow up feeling inadequate about themselves. Where does that leave us? It's no secret that I love this blogging platform because I can not only talk about my fashion but uplift other women in the process. I was thinking long and hard about writing this post or doing my normal fashion post but I decided why not make a difference when you have the chance to? Therefore, this post is dedicated to my three steps of loving yourself in a world that seems to always tell you that you're not good enough.
Step 1 Accepting Who You Are
This first step may actually be the best and the hardest. It makes you really step back and ask yourself who exactly you are. This step can be discovered early in life or you can continue to ask yourself that as you venture through the twists and turns of adulthood. Heck, let's be real, I'm 26 and I still have to ask myself "Who are you?" I think that question is not easily answered but it's always good to take a step back and think about what you are trying to portray in your life. What is your passion something that makes you excited to wake up every morning? Once you find that I believe it sets you on the true path of who you are. For me, I am passionate about being an advocate for women who don't seem to have a voice. I have always been that person that tries to give a listening ear and help others with their problems or concerns. In the past, I used to think of it as a weakness because people seemed to take advantage of my kindness. I began to change myself, creating this hard exterior, not letting people in, because I was afraid that they'd see me and my weakness. However, as time progressed I found that it wasn't something that I should hide but embrace and down the line, the right people would never take advantage but encourage me to be my authentic self. Now, that is not something that happens over night. It takes time. However, finding your passions what makes you YOU is the first step in discovering what makes you wonderful.
Step 2 Eliminate the Negative Talk
This can be another hard step especially because negative talk can be confused for being realistic. Of course, I am not telling you to think ignorantly I want you to be smart. What I am telling you is to not always listen to that small insignificant voice in your head that tells you that you're not good enough. If you are fighting for that promotion, or that relationship, or simply fighting to be yourself, it's okay to vulnerable, and it's okay to hype yourself up. It's not a bad thing to look at yourself in the mirror and think "Damn, I look great today!" What I started doing, especially when I was starting to doubt myself, is every other day write three things I loved about myself. It can start off small like personality traits, or the way your hair looks on certain days. Build yourself up instead of constantly tearing yourself down. Sometimes, you have to be your own cheerleader before you can be someone else's. Once you start that internal dialogue of loving and complementing yourself then your thoughts will sway towards the positive opposed to that negativity you might be used to. I challenge you after reading this post to take that pen or cell phone and write that small list of what makes you special. You owe that to yourself. YOU are amazing! Sometimes, we need that little reminder to comprehend just how special we are.
Step 3 Vulnerability is OKAY
Another false misconception is that being vulnerable makes someone weak. In fact, I believe it's the opposite being passionate and vulnerable to me, means you're one of the strongest people in the world. It's easy to hide behind this mask or shell of oneself but being raw and open can be one of the hardest, strongest, things to do. It took me a while to dig deep into myself and realize that you don't always have to be strong. I grew up surrounded by loved ones, people always surrounding me, and loving me. I thought it would be that way all my life so when times came that I was alone it became very hard for me. It took me a while to realize that I hated being alone, by myself, with my thoughts running rapidly. I had to step back, discover this about myself, and realize that my imperfection, understanding it, and challenging it, was what would help me overcome it. Now, I am not perfect, I still struggle with being alone, but it's something that I realized is apart of me. Through hard work and dedication I know one day I will get to that place where I can 100% be okay with being fully alone.
It's these small things that we tend to not think about on a daily basis because we are so overwhelmed with the daily activities that drive our lives. We are constantly in motion that sometimes we don't take the time to stop, breathe, and think about all the attributes, fears and all, that makes us who we are. Those vulnerable aspects are built within our DNA, same with our strengths, it's what makes us authentic and it's what makes us unique.
Remember, that this process won't be successful over night. Like a bud, you have to water, care, and grow before you can become that elaborate flower. There are times where you will question who you are and what you stand for but never waiver in the fact that you are special. I don't think that people appreciate one another enough. We aren't told my friends, family, or even co-workers how much we appreciate one another. So if you don't hear any affirmation today know this, you ARE special, you ARE enough, and you are perfectly YOU.
Thanks so much for reading this blog post I appreciate you all!
Until next time.