The light house
"I have a deeply hidden and inarticulate desire for something beyond the daily life."
- Virginia Woolf
Yesterday I had that insatiable feeling. The one you get, small and quaint, that builds up and seems to grow from the pit of your stomach, gnawing at your mind. That feeling of inability or not being good enough. It's the silent killers that can be the most deafening.
It started out as a normal day. I had a bit of anxiety from the long weekend knowing that I would come back to a pile of work I had to finish. The thought of that seemed to put me in a funk on Monday night. It got me thinking how one small infinitesimal thoughts can catapult our mind into the unknown. The unknown of how am I going to complete this, or will I accomplish the goals I have set for myself. It becomes this negative domino effect that slowly plants this seed of self-doubt.
It only got worse when I had an incident happen at work that made me second guess myself. How many of you have had that happen? You can be on top of the world one moment then one occurrence can knock you down a notch.
It's moments like these when you're feeling low and down, that inspired me to write this blog post. If you don't know this about me you will learn that I try to stay on the bright side of life. I try to uplift and build people up. If my post can help just one person feel like they're not alone, or they can relate to it, then I feel as if I have done my duty as an influencer and blogger.
A lot of times people see these "perfect" lives that other's portray. In reality, no one is perfect. Everyone has their own hidden demons and struggles. We all go through those cloudy days. Or the days where we seem like we're trying to tread water and the waves keep pushing us down.
Yet, through those struggles, that treading, which may seem indefinite, we find shelter in a lighthouse, in the small things that give us comfort. Mine happens to be blogging. When I blog I feel like I have this sense of purpose, of helping and speaking how God created me to. It reminded me of the phenomenal post that one of my favorite bloggers, Olivia Rink, wrote about a bit ago. If you haven't read it I suggest you do!
It got me thinking about moments like these where you feel that discomfort of growing and maturing in life. Whether it be in a relationship, at work, or self-growth. I tend to shy away from growth, or things that make me 'uncomfortable.' Yet, I have to constantly remind myself that discomfort, that treading faze, is what can lead you to that oasis. It is in that discomfort that you start to learn about yourself and what you truly want.
Years ago I wouldn't have been able to grow from my discomfort but wallow in my own self pity. It took a lot for me to get here and by all means, I'm still not perfect. However, through writing this blog, sharing my thoughts, and meditating while praying, I realized it can get better.
In moments of self doubt and discomfort I stop and think yes I can. When anyone, family, friends, bosses, doubt you remember that you are enough and you can beat those waves pushing you down.
After drifting through those waves, remember there is a lighthouse on the horizon. I know I talked about complementing yourself daily on another post. I challenge you now to focus on one thing that drives you, the thing that gets you up every morning. Did you get that thought in your head? Good, now every time you feel lost, scarred, insignificant, remember that goal. Remember you are important enough to achieve that goal, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Remember, God created you in his image so you are perfect in every way.
When I found this mural underneath a dark and desolate train stop it got me thinking about life. How even in the darkest times, in the most desolate of places, there can always be some light shining down, reaching out to give you hope. I know it sounds cheesy and cliche, but I truly believe that no matter what situation you are in...you can find that light.
I know I got deep on you guys but I hope that it touched someone today. If I got through to someone and made them feel special then that is worth all the blogging in the world.
On a much lighter note this amazing PINK romper is by James Ascher, and it's simply my fav! Can we talk about this adorable bow in the back as well! The perfect staple for summer nights and of course date nights too.
Thanks again for following along love bugs. I adore you all!
Until next time,